ONETWOTHREE!

» Friday, December 7, 2012 / -10:47 PM

Thanatos

The idea of the story was based on the feeling of emptiness.
M has been wandering around aimlessly in what was supposed to be a dark tunnel with nothing there for her to hold on to. It's a general state I am in at the moment. Every cry for help was unheard by anyone or disregarded that I think I should cave in and deal with it. Maybe, I'm being too whiny. Maybe. In all honesty, I think I'm beginning to lose my sense of self. Who am I? What am I? Solitary confinement did nothing but worsen the situation. Even so, reaching out all the time is just tiring. Why can't anyone reach in just for a while?

I feel like giving in to survival instincts.
To go on auto-pilot and there's no need to care about anything anymore. Nothing is good enough for anyone anyway. These doubts are tearing away my last piece of self-respect away from me. "You're stupid" "Just quit".

8/12/2012
But right now, I'm not going to let this things affect me.
I'm not going to play the victim role anymore or get attention because people pity me. I would still want to cry and just lie in my bed, just locking myself up in my room and wish you'd come back immediately. What's the point if I keep wishing and that won't happen? I'm going to have all the fun in the world. No strings attached.