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I feel that you're the one but I doubt myself sometimes.
I don't want a person that would yell or get angry at me because I tell you my fears.
I know to you, they are irrational because you know yourself best.
You know what you will do and what you won't.
I generally feel scared to trust you because I'm not sure what you'll do to me.
Countless times have I stripped my armours off only to be criticized, reprimanded and teased.
Countless times, I've been hurt, so I'm expecting a lot of pain, which is happening.
You get mad at me for doing things you dislike.
For saying things, even as a joke, for being me.
For saying that I'm afraid of losing you, for being worried that you'll cheat.
I tell you this, over and over again, just to be replied by anger and resentment.
"I'm not Terry." You're not him but you're still piercing my torso with your words and actions.
Maybe it's just me. I'm too much to handle.
I need to be fixed and tuned all the time like an old car.
Not everyone will want to spend that much time fixing something that is so easily replaced and would work better.
I'm too energy consuming to reassure all the time.

Some months old posts that I never got around posting.

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