» Monday, November 15, 2010 / -7:05 AM

So many things have been happening this past year.

Things that made me feel happy initially and for some reason, it seems like a greater force is trying to withdraw the happiness I felt as if they granted happiness to the wrong person. "Oh! We gave the wrong von happiness! Let's take it away." First, the break up. Now, a dear friend passed away. Throughout 2007 to the beginning of 2010, was probably the better years of my teenage life. In Convent Green Lane, I felt like I belonged like a piece of cloth on a patchwork of many different colored cloths and each of them are vibrant and unique. Lyn Si was one of them.

Lyn Si is one of a kind.

She was so bubbly, exuberant, kind, outspoken.. and the list goes on. You left us this morning without letting us know. It was all so sudden despite the fact that we know the struggles you are going through. No, Lyn Si is a strong person, that can't be it. It mustn't be real. But it was. When I got the message from Caryn, I stood where I was and stared at my phone. Gwendeline was talking to me but everything seems to be going by slowly. I looked up at Gwen and just said "My friend passed away." expressionless. She hugged me, yet I just stood there. I was just telling Gwen about going back to Penang to donate my blood to her but how I somehow get sick whenever I travel, about getting Dr Goh to help out with a fund raiser for Lyn's transplant, and her friend that passed on as well. How I told Gwen and Desmond I hope she would make it through. I have been thinking about giving up going to Florida to chase something that is of extreme importance to me and just give her my money, although it wasn't much. At least, it's something. How many times I thought about her, wanting to tell her I miss her, wanting to ask her out whenever I visit and I got too busy, too obsessed with my own life to remember. Some close friend I am, right?

Lyn Si,

There are so many things I wish I can do. I wish so badly now that I can tell you I love you, although I did manage to tell you I miss you and I wish we can hang out but I never took the initiative to call you whenever I am around. How I wish I can tell you that you are beautiful, despite the effects of the chemotherapy sessions you went through. All I can do now, is wish. I'm sorry I did not do these things. I'm sorry I let all those little things bother me so much that I forget to consider what you feel. I'm sorry for not being there for you.

To Lyn Si's family,

Thank you for being there with her through out despite the fact that it hurts. You guys are one of the strongest people I have ever seen. I would be ready to help out if you require my assistance. My deepest condolences to you.

Baby girl, you're probably rocking out in Heaven right now.

Though you are gone now, it doesn't mean your life ended. It's a new beginning. What you left behind with us, is your legacy. How you've touched other people's lives without knowing it, how you have changed the course of their life without hoping for anything in return. I would miss the random times you called me E-diot or Sachiko with Caryn, you and your colored pens, your fun self, watching House Bunny with you, talking all day long about Gaia, admiring your artwork. I love you. Until we meet again.

"People really die only when people they know forget them." (Patrick Carvajal, 2010)

I'm not going to let that happen.