ONETWOTHREE!

» Sunday, July 6, 2008 / -5:29 AM

Why do I always get the feeling as if I've gained so much and the next moment, it's all stripped away? Is it so wrong to just ask a question? Is it so wrong to give in? Every moment, something or someone will stop me from liking myself for even a split second.

I want to kill myself. Yes. I want to fade away. Yes. I want to disappear. Yes. YES YES YES!

To retain honour or dignity, thou must not give in to those whom are not known for their innocence. Truce is something to be avoided. It allows the other party to step all over you. Prudence is not something to be practiced. It is something to be learned and never to be applied to our daily lives.
Compromise is near impossible. Especially to those who are guilty. Is this what we truly are?

Everything seemed wrong this week. There's never a day I am not depressed about something. Am I changing already? What kind of emotional monster am I? What happened to the spunky, couldn't-care-less-about-what's-going-on Evon? Stress is piling up and I drown myself in my own dark grief, sulking or crying my heart out. Who will understand anyway? I've been keeping things to myself. I want to keep them to myself. Locking them up in the deepest corner of my heart and brain. Yet, you still have to pry out every single detail. To keep things the way they are, I have to ACT as if nothing happened. But no! Apparently, I am like an open book, readily open for your reading pleasure. Your prying fun. I tried to shut you out. With my headphones and head-pounding music, I believe I can. Hence, save all the damages which are yet to be done.
Unfortunately, your voice is clearer and louder than anything else. I can hear you even when we're not talking face to face or on the phone. Won't you just respect my privacy? No. Instead, I am annoying the guts out of you. Even when I'm telling you everything, every microscopic detail. I will always be there for you but how many times are you here for me when I needed you? I've gone semi-insane by all those pressure. You still manage to utter heartbreaking words, don't you?

Thank you for the Venom.