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Hello, i'm von!.i love making/eating cupcakes and i'm totally in love with photography. i also love being hyper all the time, it makes me feel super. i maybe a total klutz at times but i blame it all on my shoes. i hope i made you smile!
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Monday, April 20, 2009
/ -5:26 AM
AsphyxiationThey were saying
Come down to Lake Pontchartrain.
come back, why the hell would they leave the car?!
"Baby, who is this..? Why is he holding your hand?" Terry questioned. I pulled my hand back from the other guy, staring at him because I don't even know him. Somehow, I felt something for him. I opened my mouth, trying to defend myself but I couldn't make a sound. Breathing in deeply, I muttered "Things are not how they look like. Please, baby, please. Let me explain myself.." "Shut the fuck up, I don't need to listen to the bunch of shits and lies you're going to tell me. I don't need another rainbow-colored, cotton candy story from you, again!" He turned around and walked away without turning back. Never ever, coming back. My knees felt like jelly. I dropped down, staring at nothingness and every single bit of me hoped that he will come back and shout "I've got you!" while laughing at my intense reaction. Minutes passed by, nothing. Nothing at all. Not even his silhouette.
Feeling disgusted of myself, I went back home only to find that my mom was there, looking furious and she scowled at me. I approached her, asking how did her day go. Instead of telling me her problems like she usually does, she screamed "I know you fucking slept with that doctor who is you're father's friend! He has a wife and kids for fuck's sake. You're such a hoe! What are you thinking?!" "But mom, I didn't.." She pulled my arm, into my bedroom without taking a moment to listen to me. "Fucking pack your stuffs up already. I'm bringing you to him and we'll talk. His wife knows about this already. She is going to be there too." "Mom, I didn't do it! I swear! I was with another guy." "ANOTHER GUY?! WHAT IS TERRY GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS WHEN HE FINDS OUT, HUH? WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU? TO BE A WHORE?!" "But you know I'd never go for older guys. Besides, I've told you before. I'll never go for married men. They won't divorce their wives for me. Silly, ignorant old me." I reminded her again. "So, mom, please, be more rational. I'll never go for the doctor.." She ignored me. When we reached our destination, I could hear the hatred in Mom's voice. "Get out."
I got out and saw the doctor's apartment. "Get in there and get it over with." She walked off in the opposite direction. Feeling uncertain, I began to follow her closely behind. She began to walk faster, weaving her way through the crowd of people in the mall. The crowd acted like a barrier between my mom and I, preventing me from catching up. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" I was going crazy. First Terry, now Mom. In the end, I couldn't see mom anymore. I wandered around the mall, feeling rejected, lonely and depressed. I got to the concourse area to find that they're having an event. The policemen were sitting in a row at the table, signing things for the crowd. Must be some superstars dressed in police uniforms, I thought. From the corner of my eyes, I could see two guys following me. Initially, I was pretending not to notice them. I walked around the concourse area, checking out the posters, and everywhere I went, they were right behind me, whispering to each other. Oh crap! I began to panic.
Walking out of the concourse, I saw them tailing me closely behind. Agitated, I turned around and snapped at them. "LEAVE ME ALONE, WILL YOU? GEEZ." "What? We weren't following you, silly." "I saw you! In the exhibition hall! You were following.. The both of you." They looked at each other, as if they were saying that it is time. My muscles became tense and I ran away from them before they notice it. This will give me a head start, at least. Terry, where are you? I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please forgive me. Those were the words I will never be able to even whisper after this. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I repeated this over and over again in my head. "Run all you want. Missy! When we get you, I'll chop your legs off! You're lucky that I've not broken your legs yet!" I made a turn into the elevator/toilet area to find out that the emergency exit was locked. The place was dark as there wasn't any light. While shaking the exit door as hard as I can, I heard footsteps. Step, step, step. Someone screamed. I peeked out from my darkness, just to see that one of the guys that were following me was holding the girl back by grabbing a handful of her hair, and his other arm wrapped around her tightly to prevent her from trashing. They were joined by another guy, big and bald with tattoos on his arms. "Scream all you want, babe. Nobody will hear you. Adam, her legs." The shorter guy held her legs to the ground, licking his way up to her thighs. "No! Let me go! Let me go!" "Too bad these pretty things are going to be dismembered. So soft, so smooth." the guy named Adam crooned.
The bald guy began caressing her face, biting hard on her neck. "That, will be my mark on you. The police won't find your body, your family will never know you've disappeared." he snickered. I could've ended up like her if I didn't run. And now, because of me, she's in trouble. I'm sorry, baby. I have to do this. I know you hate now, but I love you..
"Fucking stop it already."
*****
Andddddd... I woke up. I was actually crying in my sleep. This has been happening for quite a while now. I guess I just don't want to feel lonely..? It's like people are surrounding me, but it still feels cold and empty.
P.S. My book's overdued. AGAIN!
Your future Sadako, vivid dreamer.
One more month is all I need,
Is a sign from you that you think of me
And if you don't, please just say so.
Come down to Lake Pontchartrain.
come back, why the hell would they leave the car?!
"Baby, who is this..? Why is he holding your hand?" Terry questioned. I pulled my hand back from the other guy, staring at him because I don't even know him. Somehow, I felt something for him. I opened my mouth, trying to defend myself but I couldn't make a sound. Breathing in deeply, I muttered "Things are not how they look like. Please, baby, please. Let me explain myself.." "Shut the fuck up, I don't need to listen to the bunch of shits and lies you're going to tell me. I don't need another rainbow-colored, cotton candy story from you, again!" He turned around and walked away without turning back. Never ever, coming back. My knees felt like jelly. I dropped down, staring at nothingness and every single bit of me hoped that he will come back and shout "I've got you!" while laughing at my intense reaction. Minutes passed by, nothing. Nothing at all. Not even his silhouette.
Feeling disgusted of myself, I went back home only to find that my mom was there, looking furious and she scowled at me. I approached her, asking how did her day go. Instead of telling me her problems like she usually does, she screamed "I know you fucking slept with that doctor who is you're father's friend! He has a wife and kids for fuck's sake. You're such a hoe! What are you thinking?!" "But mom, I didn't.." She pulled my arm, into my bedroom without taking a moment to listen to me. "Fucking pack your stuffs up already. I'm bringing you to him and we'll talk. His wife knows about this already. She is going to be there too." "Mom, I didn't do it! I swear! I was with another guy." "ANOTHER GUY?! WHAT IS TERRY GOING TO SAY ABOUT THIS WHEN HE FINDS OUT, HUH? WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU? TO BE A WHORE?!" "But you know I'd never go for older guys. Besides, I've told you before. I'll never go for married men. They won't divorce their wives for me. Silly, ignorant old me." I reminded her again. "So, mom, please, be more rational. I'll never go for the doctor.." She ignored me. When we reached our destination, I could hear the hatred in Mom's voice. "Get out."
I got out and saw the doctor's apartment. "Get in there and get it over with." She walked off in the opposite direction. Feeling uncertain, I began to follow her closely behind. She began to walk faster, weaving her way through the crowd of people in the mall. The crowd acted like a barrier between my mom and I, preventing me from catching up. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" I was going crazy. First Terry, now Mom. In the end, I couldn't see mom anymore. I wandered around the mall, feeling rejected, lonely and depressed. I got to the concourse area to find that they're having an event. The policemen were sitting in a row at the table, signing things for the crowd. Must be some superstars dressed in police uniforms, I thought. From the corner of my eyes, I could see two guys following me. Initially, I was pretending not to notice them. I walked around the concourse area, checking out the posters, and everywhere I went, they were right behind me, whispering to each other. Oh crap! I began to panic.
Walking out of the concourse, I saw them tailing me closely behind. Agitated, I turned around and snapped at them. "LEAVE ME ALONE, WILL YOU? GEEZ." "What? We weren't following you, silly." "I saw you! In the exhibition hall! You were following.. The both of you." They looked at each other, as if they were saying that it is time. My muscles became tense and I ran away from them before they notice it. This will give me a head start, at least. Terry, where are you? I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please forgive me. Those were the words I will never be able to even whisper after this. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I repeated this over and over again in my head. "Run all you want. Missy! When we get you, I'll chop your legs off! You're lucky that I've not broken your legs yet!" I made a turn into the elevator/toilet area to find out that the emergency exit was locked. The place was dark as there wasn't any light. While shaking the exit door as hard as I can, I heard footsteps. Step, step, step. Someone screamed. I peeked out from my darkness, just to see that one of the guys that were following me was holding the girl back by grabbing a handful of her hair, and his other arm wrapped around her tightly to prevent her from trashing. They were joined by another guy, big and bald with tattoos on his arms. "Scream all you want, babe. Nobody will hear you. Adam, her legs." The shorter guy held her legs to the ground, licking his way up to her thighs. "No! Let me go! Let me go!" "Too bad these pretty things are going to be dismembered. So soft, so smooth." the guy named Adam crooned.
The bald guy began caressing her face, biting hard on her neck. "That, will be my mark on you. The police won't find your body, your family will never know you've disappeared." he snickered. I could've ended up like her if I didn't run. And now, because of me, she's in trouble. I'm sorry, baby. I have to do this. I know you hate now, but I love you..
"Fucking stop it already."
*****
Andddddd... I woke up. I was actually crying in my sleep. This has been happening for quite a while now. I guess I just don't want to feel lonely..? It's like people are surrounding me, but it still feels cold and empty.
P.S. My book's overdued. AGAIN! Your future Sadako, vivid dreamer.
One more month is all I need,
Is a sign from you that you think of me
And if you don't, please just say so.
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